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Apr, 2012

All Aubrey Needs Is Love

I’m on day four on the road so I’m really missing my little Aubrey. I try not to be gone longer than five consecutive days at a time (that seems to be a real breaking point for both of us) but this week will be six by the time I get home on Saturday.

When I miss her a lot I torture myself by looking at our videos and her pictures, watching Modern Family episodes on ABC.com, etc. I’m a glutton for punishment.

Anyway, I thought I’d share our latest home video. We made it last week. Aubrey has been very interested in the concept of marriage lately. I think this is common for 4 yr olds. Anyway, she understands when two individuals love each other, they may choose to get married (unless they are being discriminated against… but that’s another blog). Having very little concept of adult, romantic love at this point, she believes marriage is simply about love. It’s very sweet and innocent.

The sweetest thing is that she has been telling me for a couple weeks now is that she wants to marry me. “I’m going to marry YOU, mommy!” Awwwww. I’ve explained to her that family members can’t marry each other, but she’s not buying it.

More recently, she has also expressed an interest in marrying our chihuahua, Bob Barker. I haven’t gotten into the inter-species aspect of why that’s never going to happen, but it sure is nice to know Bob and I are loved so much.

Here is Aubrey and Bob Barker’s quickie wedding ceremony. The happiest girls I know πŸ™‚


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Feb, 2012

Aubrey Says The Darndest Things

The Wordsmith Herself, on Valentine's Day

The Aubinator (aka my 4 yr old daughter Aubrey) recently made history by dropping the f-bomb on primetime television (She was saying “fudge” for those who haven’t heard the full details yet… people still ask me if she really said it!). In real life – our life – sometime between 18 months and 2 years of age, I did overhear Aubrey say “Hot damn,” “Oh shit” and “Oh what the fuck” and it was about then I realized she was a sponge. Or really a parrot made out of sponge and that the days of saying whatever I wanted to in front of “the baby” were sadly, over. Aubrey hasn’t uttered a curse word since then and more paramount to that is what she HAS been saying lately.

Aubrey is 4 (5 this summer) and she has entered into that magical time of child speech and language when everything she says is either adorable or hilarious. Literally, almost no in between. I’ve never loved being her mom more than now. I thought I’d share a treasury of Aubrey-isms because I love them so much and because my brain is too fried to write on any topics of substance these days. Enjoy…

(Entering the bathroom while I’m sitting on the toilet. She has yellow string with an apple shaped key chain attached to it, wrapped around her fingers.) “OK! I’m trying to make a yoyoyo, but I’m NOT making any promises.”

“Milk helps you to be strong and to make you not to be lousy. Like a slug.”

“When I grow up I’m going to work at Panda Express!”

“I want to be the Tooth Fairy when I grow up.”

“I’m going to be a boy so then when I grow up I can be a daddy.”

(Referring to our dog.) “Bob Barker should have a puppy so then she can have a brother!!”

“Mommy, how old are you?”
(audible gasp) “That’s OLD! That’s jumbo!”

(Tucking her in at bed time, she grabs and holds me tightly.) “Stay and sleep with me so I can smell you all night!”

“I want you to keep me forever.”

(I was explaining to Aubrey that Buddha lived a long time ago and is dead now.) “So is Buddha in heaven with Michael Jackson?”

“I know the names of The Simpsons characters: Bart, Lisa, the baby is Maggie, Homer… and Large.”

She called an antelope a “lemonlope”

“I had a cheeseburglar at Old McDonald’s, but I didn’t like it.”

After peeing in the toilet, she looked me dead in the eye and asked, “Um… did you wipe my vagina?”

“I’m half Korean, but you’re just REGULAR Korean.”

(Watching me eat some long spaghetti noodles.) “You can’t just eat with your lips all night!”

“I like you mommy.”


To be continued…

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Feb, 2012

My Sweet Little Turkey Gets Sweeter

Aubrey made this all by herself - it's Dr Frankenstein in case you couldn't tell.

I share custody of Aubrey with her dad and the last couple days have been the first child-free days I’ve had in what feels like an eon. With Aubrey’s work schedule, the awards shows and then her dad travelling, it was non-stop gogogo, just Aubrey and me. It was fun, but exhausting. Like really exhausting.

After weeks like these, it’s always a bag of mixed emotions sending the kiddo off to her dad’s. Relief on one hand and sadness on the other. I do miss her and I miss having her here… except when I’m getting a full 7-8 hours of sleep. Then I’m feeling pretty ok about everything.

My friends with older kids have told me about this magical time when your child transitions out of the insanity of 3 and 4 years and turns into a delightful and charming 5 year old and I’m starting to see it happen!

Three into four was tough and I was warned. My wise mom friends said three into four makes the “terrible twos” feel like a cake walk in the park and they were right. Aubrey was a charming and easy two year old and compared to some of the insane 3 and 4 year olds I’ve met, she wasn’t too bad during her crazy days, but it was exhausting, nonetheless.

The happiest person

I’m happy to report the days of physical tantrums, the defiance, the crying for no apparent reason, the whining over every little thing… these things seem to be (I’m afraid to say it lest I jinx myself) GONE! Particularly over the last month, Aubrey has been the sweetest and easiest kid on the planet.

Even a few days ago, when I asked her to pick up her toys, she actually responded, “OK Mommy. I’ll do it right away!” WHAAAT?!! I almost died of a heart attack and I thought to myself, “OK, I must be doing SOMETHING right… Right?!”

She has been extra snuggly, extra sweet, extra cute, extra fun and extra polite.Β This recent development of super greatness makes me miss her even more when she’s gone.

My spring college shows start up this week which means more time away from my special pal. I’m proud of my career and so grateful to be working but I feel the pangs of guilt and thinking about these magical days slipping by so quickly breaks my heart. If only I could stay home with her when she’s so sweet and go on tour when she’s in time out. HA!

For any of you in the crazy days of three and four, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel! And to all the negative Nellys out there who have to chime in with, “Well just wait 10 years, it comes back!” Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah. I’m taking my cue from Aubrey and trying to live in the moment, enjoying these sweet, wonderful days when she still fits in my lap for as long as I possibly can.

That would be my arm and Nelly accompanying Aubrey down the SAG Awards red carpet

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