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May, 2012

Go Ahead And Interrupt A Single Mom's Day Tomorrow

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL Moms!

While I’m thinking of it, this is something I mention every Mother’s Day and probably will for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and if you know a single mom, reach out to her and don’t be afraid to make her day special. It won’t take much, a phone call, a text, or even invite her to your brunch, out for a drink, send her an ecard, knock on her door with a plate of cookies, whatever works for your schedule. Especially the single moms of very young children.

Mother’s Day can be a very lonely and sad day for single moms of little children. Aubrey’s dad and I split when she was an infant so I spent the 1st couple Mother’s Days of Aubrey’s life feeling pretty horrible. Alone in an apartment with a baby, no family near by. Tired and doing the daily grind… laundry, diapers, nap, bath, feeding… It was hard reading Facebook posts and Tweets about other moms going to brunch, getting flowers and candy, heading to the spa with their gift certificate in hand. These things  don’t usually happen for single moms. And not that Mother’s Day needs to be about fancy gifts, but remember babies and young children don’t know it’s Mother’s Day. They just keep spitting up, crying and throwing tantrums on schedule.

Some single moms are lucky to have a close connection with immediate family or relatives and they are not forgotten. They are the lucky single moms indeed, but my nearest family members are across the country. I remember those first years being asked the Monday after, “What did you do for Mother’s Day?!” UM… NOTHING! Wiped up poop? And then you get the sad, I feel sorry for you, “Ohhhh. That’s no fun.” And that makes you feel even more like shit. Seriously, I don’t mean to make single motherhood out to be a big sob fest, but it has its moments, for sure.

Now that Aubrey is almost 5 yrs old, it’s not quite as difficult. The days are still demanding but we have so much fun doing all kinds of activities and we can go out and celebrate together. This year we are going to the circus and we are both really excited! I love being a mom and I even love being a single mom. Aubrey and I have an amazing bond and I feel we will have each others’ backs for the rest of our lives. But those earliest years alone were isolating and daunting at times. If you’re reading this and you’re there right now, you’re not alone! Hang in there – it DOES get easier!

So… for those of you who know a single mom, go ahead and take the time to reach out to her tomorrow. Let her know she is loved and appreciated for the very important job she does. You may feel like you’re bothering someone on their special day, but trust me, your simple phone call might just be what makes her day special. Go ahead and bother her.

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