Just Call Me Oriental
|Lela Lee – You Rock|
This morning, an older gentleman came to my house to pick up an electric sander he bought on Craigslist from my boyfriend. I’m such a nice girlfriend that I agreed to risk life and limb and wait for this strange man to show up, pay and take the sander while my boyfriend was at work. So let’s call this gentleman, John. Why? Because that was actually his name and even if it wasn’t, you’d still probably believe me if I said it was. Lot’s of guys named John.
OK, so John looked to be in his early 70s or so and after he plugged in the sander to test it and gave me the cash, he asked me, “Where are you from? Are you Korean?”
OMG!!! Here goes the conversation I’ve had with one zillion white people who just can’t accept the fact that Asian Americans are actually AMERICANS!!! AHHHHH! I try my best to be patient with these folks, but come on. It’s 2010. I get it. You fought in the Korean War and I’m grateful for your service to both countries, but does that mean you’re still incapable of accepting people of color as Americans 57 years later? If I had an accent, then ok. I think it’s a little bit of an excuse to ask someone where they’re from. We do that to white people with accents all the time, but I speak English without an accent and any of you know me that my mannerisms, clothing, household, etc are all pretty non-FOBish. I’m clearly an American. Or maybe a Canadian, but we won’t open that bag of worms. You get the point.
Here’s the rest of out titillating dialogue:
Amy: Yes. I’m Korean, but I’ve lived here my whole life.
John: But were you born in Korea?
Amy: Yes, but…
Amy: Seoul but I’ve been here since I was an infant.
John: I was stationed in Korea in (insert name of Korean city north of Seoul), just north of Seoul. I could tell you were Korean. Most Americans assume that all Orientals look the same, but I can tell the difference (no you can’t dude). I lived in Korea and I can tell the features of different nationalities. (WOW! Good for you, cause I sure as hell can’t.)
Amy: Well, there are some characteristics, but you can’t always tell. Especially Chinese and Korean people since Korean people…
John: Well, Japanese people too because you know Japan occupied Korea for 40 years. (So now he’s contradicting himself… you can’t tell dude)
(The next section of dialogue was kind of a blur as I was just trying to get him to leave)
Amy: OK, I hope the sander works out for you.
John: You have a nice day now.
Amy: You too. Happy holidays.
Then John got into his non-Oriental truck and drove away.
I’m not going to rant and rave about this exchange, I’m just going to say this one thing: Don’t have this discussion with an Asian Americans. It bores the shit out of us. And just for fun – you should all visit this website: AllLookSame.com. Have fun and John, I hope you’re enjoying your sander.
There Will Be Blood!
I was slightly devastated today to learn that McNeil-PPC, Inc is discontinuing manufacture of my brand of tampons: o.b. Yes, those freaky little numbers sans applicator. I LOVE these tampons. How do I love them? Let me count the ways…
1) They are way more absorbent and leak proof than any other tampon I’ve ever tried and since having a child and reaching my late 30s, I bleed like a stuck pig. A stuck pig on its period. TMI? Tough.
2) They are small! Easy to fit into a pocket – even a teeny tiny pocket. I’m an active person and I travel for a living so I don’t always want to lug my purse or a giant tampon around with me, like on stage, when I’m snowboarding or running, riding Tower of Terror at Disneyland… you get the idea
3) No applicator – no extra waste! o.b. tampons are the greenest, most eco-friendly tampon you can find. There are other crazy contraptions like sea sponges and cups that are groovy and all, but sometimes, you just gotta jam and let’s face it, I bleed like a… well, re-read #1.
So McNeil-PPC, Inc., I damn thee to hell! I hate you for making me love you and then walking out on me. I thought we had something real. I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow and find a new slow jam.
My TURKEY WINNER!!
Just a quick note to announce the winner of my Screamin Daily Deals and TheBlogFrog.com’s SoCal Family Connect community Turkey Dinner giveaway… BERNADETTE!! Her blog is Bern-Baby-Bern.blogspot.com. Please check out her blog and congratulations!!
The holiday season is officially off and running! I attended Aubrey’s preschool Thanksgiving Feast today which was a ton of fun and I also bought almost everything I need to make holiday gifts. I bake treats every year. Both to keep costs down and to avoid the mass commercialism and mobs at the malls. And I love to bake – so it all works out. I just need a couple more items and I’ll be all done with my holiday “shopping”!
Better get back to nagging my three year old. Rest time is a battle these days. She doesn’t want to nap anymore, but definitely needs a quiet time. She fights this too, but I have to stick to my guns. I’d be so embarrassed if she turned out to be an axe murderer or something. Ta-ta.