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22
Dec, 2011

Hell Hath No Fury Like An Elmo Scorned

Don’t let the happy photo fool you – this was a WEIRD outing!

Aubrey and I are on “staycation” (that word sickens me a little bit) this week and next, so I’ve been trying to find fun things for us to do during the day. I had an audition in Hollywood late this morning so as we were driving up towards Hollywood Blvd to head back to the Valley, I thought it would be fun to go to the Disney Soda Fountain, next to the El Capitan Theatre for lunch.

Hollywood Blvd is beyond bustling with tourists right now. It’s a little insane, but since we were’t shopping and it was still pretty early in the day, I didn’t think we’d have too much hassle. And we didn’t…UNTIL… we encountered the man I’ll to refer to as GHETTO ELMO.

To go to the Disney Soda Fountain, the only place to get validation is under the Hollywood and Highland complex. For the non-locals, this is the shopping mall (yes, it’s a mall with a Pac Sun, Sephora and everything) where they shoot the Academy Awards ceremony every year and it’s where the famed Grauman’s Chinese Theater and Walk Of Fame are. It’s a super touristy place and most locals only go out on the Blvd when they have guests from out of town.

When you walk out of the H&H complex to cross Hollywood Blvd to get to the Soda Fountain, you have to wade through several costumed roving street characters. Right as we emerged, straight ahead of us was a motley crew of Sesame Street characters. Three dudes dressed as Elmo, Big Bird and Cookie Monster.

Now, I’ve known for years, that these “characters” are pretty lame. Many of them have worn out, dirty costumes and some of the superheroes look like they’re wearing Underoos. I wish I were kidding. But I’m not. For this, they expect a tip in exchange for a taking a photograph with them.

OK, I think a tip is fair for a photo, but a tip is just that. A tip.

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines a TIP as such:

TIP (noun): A gift of a sum of money tendered for a service performed or anticipated: GRATUITY

GRATUITY: Something given voluntarily or beyond obligation, usually for some service

Now, let’s get back to GHETTO ELMO. I admit, I may have gotten Aubrey a little excited about the characters, because I saw “Big Bird” – I use quotations because he looked more like Big Bird’s 4th cousin from the backwoods of Kentucky. I guarantee this was not an officially certified Sesame Street costume and he was lucky he wasn’t lightly dusted and frying in a pan of oil somewhere.

OK, Backwoods Big Bird was really tall and stood out and as we emerged from the H&H complex, I said, “Look! It’s Big Bird!” What four year old wouldn’t be excited? Aubrey scurried up to the anemic looking trio, shoulders hunched up, sweet and innocent grin, waving her tiny little hand in a friendly pre-K “HELLO!”

GHETTO ELMO, down on one knee, quickly grabbed Aubrey while uttering a few generic pleasantries in a very non-Elmo-y voice, like, “Hi little girl. Do you like Elmo? Yeah? Do you want a picture?” GE stood her in photo taking position and said “Go ahead mom, take a picture.”

It is at this point that:
1) I knew they would want money for this photo
2) I honestly don’t know if he said anything like, “This is gonna cost ya, mom,” but I KNOW he didn’t say it was going to cost me $3.

I took the photo because, more than anything, I felt the need to rescue Aubrey from the dirty fur clutches of those stanky costumes.

Um…yeah. A picture really does tell a thousand words.

Click with the iPhone 4S (yay!) and Aubrey was back at my side. Just like that.

As I was taking out my wallet, GE, who was clearly the spokesman for the group, said to me in a hustler tone, “Don’t forget, we work for tips. We work for tips.” I handed Aubrey a dollar bill and told her to say thank you and give it to Elmo.

This is where it got ugly.

Dialogue:
(Please keep in mind, this is all me talking to a grown African American man in spectacles through a giant Elmo head in front of my 4 year old child. I know because that’s how see-through the giant mesh patch on the front of his Elmo head was.)

GE: You don’t have two more dollars? There’s three of us working here.
Me: That’s what I have. Thank you very much.
GE: Hey there’s THREE people here. One-Two-Three. You can’t just give us two more dollars?!
Me: No, sorry (I start herding Aubrey through the crowd to get away from him)
GE: (LEAVING HIS POSSE TO FOLLOWING US! SHOUTING AT ME!) That’s the way you gonna be? Just walk away? Here lady, just take your dollar. We don’t need it.
Me: Just take it. I don’t want it back. Just take it.
GE: (Following us, following us) No! Here take it. I have NO USE for this. How am I supposed to share this with two other people?! Just take it! (waving it in my face)
Me: (he’s holding a giant WAD of cash in his left hand and a plastic trick-or-treat bucket full of cash hanging from his forearm) You don’t split your tips at the end of the day? Don’t you pool them and split them, give me a break.
GE: What?! Split a dollar? 33 cents each?!! Just take your dollar lady!!
Me: It’s a tip and that’s what I have to give you.
GE: Yeah it’s a tip and I told you there was three of us and that’s how it works. Three dollars!
Me: You never said that.
GE: YES I DID!!

OK – pretty sure this is illegal in some way at this point. If he expects $3 then he should put out a sign that says: “Pictures with us in our dirty, shitty costumes: THREE DOLLARS!!”

This was about the end of the conversation. I really don’t like confrontation and especially since Aubrey could be recognized, I don’t like mixing things up, but I wasn’t about to give this guy anymore money and I certainly didn’t feel he deserved any more because he was harassing me, he manipulated the situation to take advantage of us and he was scaring my daughter.

I managed to wave him off and escape without getting my dollar back but I did have to have an odd conversation with Aubrey about what happened. She knows that those are people in costumes, but she’s used to the Disneyland variety. The kind who are loving, gentle, clean and mute. I had to let her know that the man in that costume wasn’t very nice and he wasn’t being mean because of anything she did. We made a LARGE loop, through the crowd, around the freak show and arrived at the Soda Fountain where we then received the worst service ever for the most mediocre over-priced lunch in town. The only other time I have been there was on Mother’s Day earlier this year, and it was horrible then too. Such a shame because it has AMAZING potential for being something really special. But it’s just not. 🙁

Safe at last in the Disney Soda Fountain, that we will never go back to.

So much for fun. Well, Aubrey did have fun. In fact she had a ton of fun because she was with mommy and there was Disney stuff all around her as she gnawed a hot dog and fruit. She sat next to a giant stand of monster sized lollipops, and really that’s all you need for a fun outing when you’re four.

I’m grateful she managed to enjoy the day after that bizarre incident and even more grateful that we made it out of Hollywood alive. Or at least without an arrest for assault. I was pretty close to punching GE in the face. I just hope he gave that 33 cents he had no use for to Backwoods Big Bird and Cousin Cookie Monster so they could each have no use for 50 cents.

One last note: apparently I’m not the only one who has had this sort of encounter with the “cartoon characters”. Even Zorro is on my side. For your Only-In-Hollywood reading pleasure:

Hollywood Blvd Characters Booted From Walk Of Fame

Judge Says Costumed Characters Can Perform On Hollywood Blvd

And Jimmy Kimmel has done a fine job at exploiting these characters on his show and has some pretty funny clips of them on YouTube. I only found this one with the Ghetto Elmo of which I speak and surprisingly he’s the only one who seems to have a preschool education (yes, Aubrey studied the answer to this question last year and again this year), but this will give you an idea of where I’m coming from:

Have you ever had an encounter like this? Do you think I should have handled it differently? Honestly if there had been a police officer near by, I would have reported it immediately.

Disney's Toy Story 3 On Ice

Aubrey and I had a BLAST at Disney’s Toy Story On Ice 3 last Wednesday. Aubrey was honored to be invited as a VIP guest in support of the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and Toys For Tots! Aubrey did the red carpet, skated with the characters and had a great time watching the show. I still have NO idea how those people skate in those giant costumes. Amazing.

If you are interested in attending Disney’s Toy Story On Ice 3 or any of the other Disney On Ice shows across the country, visit: http://disney.go.com/disneyonice/ to find a show near you!

SO excited for the show to begin!

Happy Holidays everyone!

EA Games Got Game!

The awesome folks over at EA Games, the premiere name in video games, sent over some goodies a couple weeks ago and I’m finally getting around to trying some of them out.

They have some really fun family friendly games that would make great holiday gifts and several are apps so there’s no postage involved!

First off, they sent us some console games and we don’t have a gaming console, BUT the very kind and generous Nolan Gould (he plays Aubrey’s tv cousin, “Luke Dunphy” on Modern Family) has an extra Wii and is giving it to us. Aubrey will be SO SURPRISED AND EXCITED!! And I’m excited because I’ll have some new activities to keep the energetic Aubs busy and physically active indoors during these dark, blustery winter weeks. Yes, we do get coolish, windy weather here in SoCal.

First for gaming consoles or PC I’ll give you a quick list and links so you can check them out. I haven’t played these (remember, no console) but they look really fun:

The Sims 3 Pets – available for Xbox360, PlayStation 3, Nintendo 3DS, PC/Mac
Be a pet or have a pet – it’s up to you.
ESRB Rating: “T” for Teen

FAMILY GAME NIGHT 4: The Game Show – available for Xbox360 (with Kinect functionality), PlayStation 3 (with Move functionality), Nintendo Wii
Experience re-imagined versions of your favorite Hasbro family games – CONNECT 4 Basketball, YAHTZEE! Bowling and SCRABBLE Flash to name a few.
ESRB Rating: “E” for Everyone

MONOPOLY Collection – available for Nintendo Wii
Hasbro’s No 1 family game is packaged in this two games in one value priced collection. Play Classic Monopoly or Monopoly Streets. You can also check out EA Games’ Monopoly versions on Facebook, iPhone, Android and Pogo.com.
ESRB Rating: “E” for Everyone

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Bet You Know It – available for Nintendo Wii
Two different game modes to choose from with more than 7000 questions based on current event, pop culture and more. Also check out EA Games’ TRIVIAL PURSUIT games on Pogo.com and iPhone, iPad and Android apps.
ESRB Rating: “E” for Everyone

And now for the app games! We tried 5 of these apps so far and we’re hooked:

The Moogies – iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch
Targeted for children 2-5, this isn’t really a game so much as it is a silly activity for kids. A crazy cast of animal characters that do stuff that kids will get a kick out of. Aubrey is ADDICTED! It keeps her happy in the car and at restaurants and really, isn’t that 98% of the reason for having an iItem when you have a kid? Worth every cent. Enough said.

Rope Rescue – iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch
Help Rupert the parrot save baby birds in cages by connecting ropes through a series of pulleys and obstacles. This is one of those games that your preschooler will somehow be better at than you. Aubrey loves the birds!

Roll In The Hole – iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch
Guide Popo the panda through physics based puzzles to collect popsicles on his way to the portal into the next world! This game is a little to hard for Aubrey – she is 4 yrs old – as it does take motor skill precision and quick reflexes – but my boyfriend and I had a lot of fun with it. It is challenging AND adorable. (Tip: Great drinking game at a bar. Somehow seems to get more and more challenging the more you drink.)

Tetris – iPhone, iPod Touch, Android
The classic addictive game with new modes and official Tetris Rank and Tetris Club… in case you’re competitive like that.

Bop It – iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch
As annoyingly wonderful as it’s tangible counterpart, but not as easy to trip on in the dark. This is stupidly addictive and ALSO makes a great drinking game! No joke. I don’t know why they don’t market it as such. Invite some friends over, mix up the martinis and Bop It.

Some other fun family apps you may want to check out are Theme Park, Road Trippin’ and Fantasy Safari. I haven’t had a chance to check these out yet, but anything by EA Games is sure to be high quality and plenty of bang for your buck. I love theme parks, so I think I will check that one out next.

I hope you got some holiday shopping ideas for the game lovers in your life – or at least a new cocktail party theme.

You have 22 days left until Christmas and if you’re Jewish, better get crackin’. Happy Holidays and THANK YOU EA GAMES!!

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Tags: Amy Anderson • Aubrey Anderson-Emmons • Chillingo • EA Games • EA Interactive • gaming • Hasbro • holiday gift guide • The Sims • video games